I stand for mercy. We knew what that meant up til the early hours of this morning: Forgive them.
Is that the most heartbreaking thing about this, today? That forgiveness is not something humankind does? That we do not look beyond the crime, to see the redemption?
Or is it the sense of injustice? That the real perpetrator here, the big boss who employed two boys to bring him his drugs, is currently living his life of luxury on Sydney’s beautiful, safe, foreshores?
For me, it is the families. Who have loved them unconditionally and likely forgiven long before redemption was apparent. Whose sense of injustice might lay in the fact that their child has been killed, legally, by leaders of a country.
All I know is that I feel like I should do something. Take this strong feeling of sadness and make it worth the effort of their lives. Make sure I don’t forget these feelings and the strength of them. Make some small part of all this not fade away, but use it to enact good. To honour the good life these men lived in the end.
But what can I do?
There is someone I can show mercy for. Someone who has been difficult to forgive. I will remember the faces of those men, and it will remind me, that I need to show mercy, because the consequences can be so dire. I can practice my mercy, feed it, til it grows strong, til it is ingrained and I have no choice but to show it all the time. We have a higher power of reasoning, which no other animal on this earth has been given: We should try and use it to it’s fullest potential. I will start small. But I can see now, that showing mercy all the time, brings peace.
I stand…. What do I stand for? Many things. Perhaps the point here is that sometimes I need to come out from behind my shelter and stick my neck out. This, I am definitely not good at. To do this, I need to not worry what people think of me, and this is my greatest downfall. But I will try. I will remember their faces and know that it is important. I will try and stand tall and be loud, about things that need justice and kindness. And mercy.
These are my tiny dedications to your lives, Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran. May you rest in God’s presence now.